


One Promise

by SkyScribbles



Series: It Feels Like Light [4]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Knights of the Eternal Throne, Lana Is So Done With Being Third Wheel, M/M, Run For The Shadows, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 07:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15286920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyScribbles/pseuds/SkyScribbles
Summary: This is the third time the Outlander's gone missing. The third time Theron's had to face the idea of never seeing him again. And honestly... he's getting tired of it.





	One Promise

There’s no time for a reunion. When Zeth returns to Kaas City - Acina at his side, Lorman trailing pathetically behind them - he can’t do what he’d like to, when the door opens and Theron’s  _there._

It seems, he thinks ruefully, that he's out of practice when it comes to being separated from Theron. Years ago, when this - them - first began, they'd go months without seeing each other, stealing evenings together on remote planets only when duty didn’t call them away. But over the past year, Zeth's started to take their closeness for granted. He can wake up and have Theron next to him, or only a few doors away, and even when they’re on separate missions,he always knows where Theron is and when they'll see each other again.

He’s angry with himself for forgetting what a privilege that is.

So when he and Acina and Lorman enter the room, and Theron starts to his feet and takes two steps towards them before stopping, Zeth wants nothing more than to close the distance and just  _hold_ him. But he can’t. Because people are watching, and because  they have to get back to Odessen. There's just no time. No time for him to do anything more than smile, and grasp Theron’s arms for a moment, and hope that Theron can feel how much he's been missed through the momentary touch.

The farewells are said, the shuttle is prepped, and Theron pilots them away towards Odessen. Zeth watches his fingers leap across the controls, and itches to move over to him. He wants to close his hands over Theron’s and feel the warmth of his skin beneath his gloves. He wants to whisper all the things he repeated again and again inside his head as he traipsed through the Dromund Kaas jungle, sometimes even reaching out into the Force as he thought them, if it could somehow carry the words into Theron's mind for him.  _I'm alive. Everything's all right. I’m sorry I scared you. I’m okay, and I’m here._

But Lana's still right there, so Zeth leans against the wall of the ship and resigns himself to waiting until they reach Odessen. Outside, the stars stretch and blur out into nothingness as the shuttle leaps into hyperspace. Theron leans back in his seat and throws a glance in Zeth’s direction. Then his eyes flick over to Lana, and he turns back around, drumming his fingers on the control panel.

There’s a moment’s pause. Then Lana rises abruptly to her feet.

'That's quite enough,' she says. 'I'm not spending this entire shuttle ride watching you two... shooting  _looks_ at each other. You've got - ' She glances at her wrist chrono - 'Five minutes. Get it out of your systems.'

Without further ado, she heads towards the refresher. She catches Zeth’s eye as she goes, and there’s fond exasperation in her face. The refresher door closes behind her, and –

And in an instant Theron has risen from his seat and crossed the cockpit and grabbed Zeth by the shoulders and is forcing him back against the wall and kissing him with a fierceness that makes both of Zeth’s hearts slam against his ribs. The words he was going to say scatter from his mind, and there’s nothing he can do but open his mouth beneath Theron’s and cling to him for balance. Theron’s hands grip him tight, not grasping and hungry but very still and very desperate, and Zeth’s as devoted to peace as the next Jedi but for a second he thinks he might kill anyone who tried to make him let go.

It lasts for a few blinding moments. Then Theron relaxes his grip and draws back, though he doesn’t release Zeth’s arms. Zeth gives himself a second to steady his breathing, and smiles. ‘I, um. I take it you missed me.’

This meets with a sound that’s halfway between a snort of laughter and a huff of frustration. 'That's the second time someone's told me you're gone. Third, if you count that time you vanished on Odessen. Just... don't do this to me a fourth time, all right?'

Zeth swallows. ‘I wish I could promise you that.’

It can be hard to read Theron's face sometimes. Only to be expected - years of SIS training have made sure he knows how to hide his emotions, just like the Jedi taught Zeth to suppress his, and once you've spent your life building those walls it's not easy to let them down. But there are moments when Theron stops shielding himself behind the spy’s mask, and this is one of them. Right now, his emotions are clear and stark on his features. Warmth. Resignation. Pain.

Zeth tugs him closer, into his arms, and presses his head against Theron’s shoulder. ‘I wish I could promise you everything.’

A shudder runs through Theron’s body, and Zeth knows he understands. Of course he understands, because it’s an unspoken, mutual agreement between them that they don’t make the kinds of promises that other lovers make. They don’t let themselves deal in  _always_  or  _forever._  They don’t say _I’ll come back_  or  _I’ll be all right_. They’ve never even let _after the war_  or  _when this is over_  pass their lips. Their lovers’ talk always starts with an _if_ – _if I come back, if we make it through this_  – and they never make promises they know they might not keep. Any mission could go wrong. Any battle could be the last. They know better than to tempt fate with promises that might become lies.

If Zeth could, he’d make them all. It hurts so much, choking them back. But there’s one promise he can make, one he knows he’ll keep. It’s a promise he’s made before, and it's a promise that would still have been true even if he really had died down there in that jungle. It’s the one  _always_  he can promise.

He closes his eyes, and breathes it out. ‘I love you.’

Theron’s fingers clench against Zeth’s tunic, and his arms close a little tighter.


End file.
